||[May. 7th, 2004|08:00 pm]
Whew. I've given my notice of resignation. Quite a relief, but it somehow makes me all the more impatient to leave. Partly because I'm excited about this summer and next year, but also in small part because it's a bit awkward because I've chosen to leave (and they know it) but I'm still here.|
My big boss, a man very well known and respected in industry, government, and academia, was very understanding and encouraging. First he did the typical boss things -- asked if I was leaving because of some problem or difficulty at work, then when I told him my reasons he asked if there was anything he could do to change my mind. I told him no, explained that this wasn't a spontaneous decision, and assured him that I am confident in my decision. So said he was sorry to see me go, that he felt it was a loss to both our group and to the Agency (but it didn't sound so cliche when he said it, I swear). I apologized for the fact that it's not a good time (from the point of view of the project), and he quickly said that it's no worse than any other time, as we're always in the middle of something and there's always a lot of work to do. He asked about my plans, and offered to write a recommendation if I ever need one, and also said I could contact him if I change my mind down the road and decide I'd like to come back. That last was unexpected but very reassuring.
My project leader, sort of an under-boss, on the other hand, didn't take it in stride quite so well -- which I understand. He's been feeling the pressure very intensely lately, and this is another issue for him to deal with -- not only will he lose a person 3 weeks from now when he already feels like there aren't enough people to get it all done, but there'll have to be time (my own and that of others) spent preparing to transition my pieces of the project into someone else's care. I could see him get more tense as soon as I told him -- the first thing he said was "What timeframe?" *sigh* I feel bad for him, and I can't help but feel in some ways like I'm abandoning the project. But that's the way it goes, sometimes.
To be perfectly honest, *I* feel a little tense. I'm making a major change to my life (again), and I'm heading to KY when I don't have everything worked out yet -- and I've just pass the point of no turning back. I don't know whether UK will offer me a TAship, and I haven't even started looking for a job in case I don't get the TAship. AAH! Oh well, I'll do what I have to do. For those who'll be there, I'll see you in Lexington in 3 1/2 weeks...